Admire
by LoveAnimeForever
Summary: ONESHOT - Cloud, Sephiroth, Zack - An insight to Cloud's thoughts on the way to Nibelheim. Under his helmet, Cloud acknowledged breathlessly that they were waiting for /him/.


**Admire**

By LoveAnimeForever

* * *

Really, Zack? Would you? A chance – a chance to be in _his_ presence…

"Sure, kid; after all, that's what friends are for, right?"

Oh, Zack, thank you – _thank you!

* * *

_

"Thanks, Zack. Really."

The blonde dropped into a deep bow of gratitude, trying to express what he dared not say in the gesture. He had been careful to keep his tone neutral, to keep his thoughts to himself, only letting the curt thanks pass his lips. No one must ever know – they might suspect all they want, but as long as they couldn't prove that his admiration for –

Cloud stopped himself before his mind could go any further, lest it betray him. Things were fine as they were – he was safe, he was content, just to bask, unknown in _his_ presence…

* * *

The day after – a SOLDIER 2nd Class, with raven hair and blue eyes and a sword threatening to outsize its master, leant against a truck; beside him, two Shinra Guards, clad in their nondescript blue uniforms, rifles in hand. They were waiting for one last passenger before they set out. Under his helmet, Cloud acknowledged breathlessly that they were waiting for _him_.

And _he_ was not late – it was the party of three that had been early – and he arrived punctually, silver hair blowing slightly, elegantly, in the wind that seemed to announce his presence. Stride measured but quick, without any unnecessary movements, he advanced, and his leather armor – black like his gloves and boots – shifted gracefully to match his every step. Masamune was slack in his left hand, unsheathed as always, and ready to execute anyone who stood in her – _his_ – way.

After all, who had the right to stop him? If he wasn't a god, then he was at least something impossibly close…

Sephiroth passed the impromptu guard the two blue-clad soldiers had formed, boarded the truck. One of the guards promptly resumed animation; Zack had to elbow the remaining dreamer into moving.

* * *

He had been _this_ close… _So close_…

Cloud could barely breathe, and most definitely couldn't keep his eyes from locking on to the ground, though there was a black visor between him and whatever might be waiting to exploit his weakness. This was the first time he'd seen the General _in front_ of him, in all his powerful, masterful glory. When he'd swept past, Cloud could have sworn a minty fragrance hung in the air in his wake – and if he'd had to give that smell a colour, it would have been the same as his idol's luxuriant hair: silver.

Zack's elbow dug into his side, shocking him back to attentiveness. A flustered apology rushed past his lips, and he followed Zack into the truck.

* * *

As the truck rumbled down the road, Cloud just _couldn't_ stop staring. Worse, he'd had to remove his helmet, too, lest he pass out from the smothering heat. Not that it was much better in the confines of the truck, but at least it wasn't as close. _He_, the blonde couldn't help noticing, wasn't affected by the suffocating atmosphere. In fact, he seemed to exude a tangible cool, like unsweetened mint, as if the silvery fragrance from earlier could actually be _felt_. The aura that accompanied the cool was similarly silver, similarly icy – calm, determined, capable of crushing _anything_ without second thought – but serene.

Cloud's eyes darted back to Sephiroth's face, unable to adhere properly to the floor. Although just absorbing, taking in the magnificence of _his_ presence was more than enough, he didn't want to let the chance pass, because who knew when – _if_ – he would ever be in such close proximity to the General again? After all, his eyes were closed, and Zack was sleeping in a corner, oblivious, and the other guard was too motion-sick to notice… So Cloud looked. Looked on pale skin and sharp features that would have been sickly on any other, but that lent – _gave wholeheartedly_ – to the intangible beauty that was _his_ alone, intrinsic and unique, incomparable.

_I want – those eyes – just a little – maybe acknowledge – those eyes – see me – just once –

* * *

_

And then Cloud was drowning in a sea of green. He'd heard people describe the General's eyes as emerald, or mako, but it wasn't enough; _nothing_ was enough to describe the lustre, the sheen, the clarity of that _colour_; the intensity and the fire of that _piercing, piercing, molten gaze_… It was impossible to look away. Simply impossible. Cloud had no choice but to let himself be held, captured, so wonderfully imprisoned by those eyes…

Sephiroth was _searching._

No, he _knew_…

He must _never_ know!

_I – I –

* * *

_

_The one time Cloud had opened up, it had been to someone practically unknown. This girl, a civilian, dressed in a sleek black dress and with silver-painted nails, had been following Sephiroth, like Cloud had been. Only she was less skilled, she was seen, and Sephiroth sneered something at her, and he stormed off… Cloud melted out of the shadows he was so used to, and talked to her. Maybe he'd come on too strong, he'd phrased something wrong, he'd insulted her? Because she cast him a disgusted look, and slunk off with something in the same tone that Sephiroth had used on her._

"_Freak."_

_It was a while later that Cloud grew up enough to realize what she'd meant. Wrong – she'd been so _wrong_. Cloud admired – worshipped – adored – would surrender his life for – Sephiroth, but not… Not like that… Of course, he would have been grateful beyond _anything_, for any semblance of acknowledgement from his hero – idol – god – but, but –

* * *

_

A small smile graced Sephiroth's lips.

"Yes, Cadet Strife?"

"N-nothing, General, s-sir!"

Sephiroth _laughed_, and his laughter was like the wind, blowing through tall grass and over calm river, serene and graceful and playful at the same time, and _wonderful_, because – Cloud could barely believe it – he _understood_, didn't think wrongly of Cloud…

From his corner, Zack woke up, blinked the sleep from his eyes. Upon processing the miracle he was hearing, that Sephiroth was _laughing_, and his little prodigy was sitting opposite, flushing slightly but with a content smile on his face, he smiled and turned over, went back to sleep.

* * *

A little later, the truck finally stopped at their destination.

"We've reached Nibelheim, sirs."

* * *


End file.
